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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind. – Adam Carolla
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it. – Adam Carolla
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none. – Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. – Adam Carolla