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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind. – Adam Carolla
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that. – Adam Carolla
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible. – Adam Carolla
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. – Adam Carolla